The Assessment, Revisited

You came back. The Society suspected you would. Six further questions follow; the diagnosis is more thorough this time.

1. You are cooking and say, "We need less chillies for this recipe." Your partner: Hands you the chillies. Hands you the chillies, muttering under their breath. Says "fewer." Counts out the chillies one by one to demonstrate that they are a quantifiable noun.

2. You and your partner are watching the news. The presenter says: "The economy was decimated." Your partner: Keeps watching. Sighs audibly. Tells you what decimated originally meant. Has physically paused the television to explain the Roman military practice of punishing mutinous legions, while your dinner goes cold.

3. You are at a Taco Bell and order a "hal-a-pee-nyo" (jalapeño) wrap. Your partner: Looks at the menu. Orders their food using a hyper-correct, borderline offensive local accent. Corrects your pronunciation. Explains the linguistic origins of the word to the visibly annoyed teenaged server.

4. Your partner is explaining the rule for "who vs whom" to someone at a dinner party. How long have they been doing this? About thirty seconds. Two or three minutes. The main course has been cleared. People are beginning to leave. I have started drinking.

5. You make a minor grammatical error while telling a stressful story. Your partner: Focuses on the story. Notices the error but stays quiet. Softly repeats the correct word under their breath. Derails a serious discussion to parse the subject-verb agreement of your accusation. Has confidently corrected your grammar while you were actively crying.

6. Your partner is making you take this quiz again. Why? They wanted to see if the questions changed. They felt their previous score didn’t capture their true brilliance. They found a structural flaw in the previous quiz and are taking this one to see if the Society fixed it. They forced you to pay for this Retest specifically so they could achieve Life Member status on your credit card, proving their ultimate, certified superiority.